30 Minutes on Mondays: Getting Serious Self-Care With My Happy Planner During COVID-19 Lockdown

30 minutes on Mondays is when I get some serious self-care with my Happy Planner (HP). If you’re not familiar with HP, here’s the gist: a beautiful, customizable planner in which you use stickers (or not, but probably) to decorate your months and weeks and outline whatever you feel like outlining – work, home, projects, blogging, self-care, etc. 

Weekly Happy Planner spread, before the pen
“Before the pen” and also before the lockdown

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I have several happy planners: one straight from the company (Me and My Big Ideas, aka MAMBI) that I use for weekly planning, and then a few that I’ve created myself: recipes, groceries and meal planning, and a journal. Since I started, happy planning has been something that has brought me joy (and friendship! I’ve met some wonderful folks through sharing HP on Instagram!) but moving into week 2 of COVID-19 lockdown, this is what my planner spread looked like:

Weekly Happy Planner spread everything rescheduled
“After the pen” and also after the lockdown… all those stickers of positivity weren’t helping!

I showed my husband (I do this every week… like a kid bringing home art from school, lol) and immediately teared up. Of all the times to go into lockdown, March/April were when I/we had the most travel plans we’ve had in a long time: a girls trip to Mexico for me, a weekend up home where I’d get to see both of my parents (and go to the Troy Maple Festival), seeing Kinky Boots with my husband, a trip to WV to visit the Fiestaware Factory, and the annual gala for a domestic violence shelter that I love giving back to. 

PLEASE NOTE: I realize that these things are not the things many people were subjected to grieving. I realize my good fortune in that myself and my family haven’t gotten sick, and my privilege that I’m able to do any of these things to begin with, but that doesn’t change my emotional response to them, and that response is totally valid. 

I was also grieving that I’d taken something I usually enjoy and smattered my sad feelings all over it. I always leave my HP open to the current week but I wanted to close it because I was mad at myself for being “whiny” in my weekly planner. Silly in hindsight, but again, my emotional responses are valid. 

After a good smush-into-husbands-shoulder-and-sob-on-him sesh, he said, 

Tyler: Why don’t we come up with some things to put into your planner that are good?
Me: Like what? Everything really is cancelled… 
Tyler: Like things that might otherwise feel regular or mundane… you want to bake more, maybe put that in your planner? And we’re going to watch all of the Marvel movies in chronological order… maybe put those in your planner? Date nights and baking?
Me: *more crying*

Gosh he’s great. 

The following Monday I got out my planning supplies, jotted down a few things that I could turn into “happy events” and got to work. Thirty minutes later… 

30 minutes on Mondays and so glad I'm still using my happy planner during the COVID-19 lockdown
“After the pen” with a much happier vibe… so glad I am still using my Happy Planner during the COVID-19 lockdown

I felt so good.

Again, though – there is nothing wrong with feeling sad, grieving people and things you’re missing, being angry, frustrated, scared, worried… things that are traditionally “bad”, “not good”, or “negative”. These feelings are no less important and valid than “happy” emotions and deserve to be recognized.

Anywhooooo… I had come up with all sorts of ideas for things I wouldn’t normally add to my weekly plans but now could focus on… I could include our weekly meals, because why not? Oh and maybe every weekend I’ll have a new baking adventure – perfect use for the stand mixer stickers I got for my dear friend Maryann:

How freaking adorable are these?!

What had started down a path of “something else to give up during lockdown” quickly became “something to happily do during lockdown”. I’ve always loved my HP, but in the last six weeks (gah, how has it been six weeks already) I’ve really come to love my 30 (okay, sometimes 45….) minutes on Mondays in which I spend some time with myself, being creative, and making my week just a bit more joyful using my HP. 

Are you a planner? Do you Happy Plan, BuJo, Erin Condren, or CleverFox? Have you stuck with it or temporarily sat it aside during the COVID-19 lockdown? I’d love to know your thoughts on planning/planners, so leave ‘em in the comments so we can discuss!

This post contains Affiliate links and I may make a small amount of money if you decide to purchase from my links. Read my full disclosure and privacy policy here. -Deb 

3 Reasons Why I Ditched Diet Culture

The three reasons why I ditched diet culture… getting to a point where I can write this post has been quite the journey. I’m still in the thick of it – learning, changing, growing, forgiving, accepting, loving. But what even got me to this point?

3 reasons why I ditched diet culture

“Well, all of your bloodwork is totally normal… you’re a little low in Vitamin D, but that’s easy to supplement with over-the-counter. You’re a very healthy young lady.”

Me, all 230 lbs of me, who has always been told I need to lose weight, sitting on the exam table:

I managed to stutter out “Oh, okay, awesome” as he continued explaining my blood-work to me: what these numbers mean and what those numbers mean, and why eating fewer eggs might lower your cholesterol but also might not… I was trying desperately to listen thoroughly but also trying not to cry at having heard the word “healthy” used in reference to me. 

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I’d already had a minimal “fuck it” attitude by the time I went to this doctor’s appointment… I was very tired of (read: exhausted by) Fit Girl-ing and Keto-ing and weighing my food and the costs (both time and money, and usually ignoring the mental cost associated with it) of all of it. I told my husband, “I don’t want to be one of those girls who gets married and then ‘let’s herself go’” (at the time not realizing that this was just another form of fat shaming, but I’ve been on a weight loss journey for forever, so this is an uphill climb with a LOT of learning) but also that I didn’t feel like I could keep living like I was: always hyper-focused on losing weight. We want to have a kid, we’re starting our farming life… we’ve got a lot of things we want to do and 90% of my brain capacity is OWNED by weight loss and weight loss-related things. I just didn’t feel like it was a sustainable (again, still not really taking the mental cost into consideration) way to live. 

So I started feverishly googling “intuitive eating” because I’d heard that basically was letting go of a diet (merrrrrr, not necessarily.. Make sure you’re really checking what you’re reading if you take this path!). I learned a lot in those first few days… one of the primary things that I knew I needed to do was to dig into WHY I had been dieting my whole life and WHY I wanted to stop it now. “Why” is always an important question to ask in any situation, and in this situation, it was what freed me from my own self.

Here’s what I came up with:

I’ve been dieting for probably the same reasons a lot of us have:

  1. I was influenced and often actually TOLD by people close to me and by society that the person I was wasn’t good enough, especially in regard to my weight (and in various other ways too, of course)
  2. I had this idea that I needed to look a certain way to a) achieve that^ “good enough” status so that I could ever b) be accepted as a “successful” person (because aren’t all successful people completely healthy?!)
  3. I thought that achieving those 2^ would allow me to experience “happiness”, the elusive “happiness” that certainly only comes when you aren’t fat, right?

I felt a little bit cuckoo (granted, I AM a little bit cuckoo) reading these back to myself. I logically understand that my weight has absolutely nothing to do with my value as a human, with my ability to have a successful career, to be happy, to have a good life.

So then why am I letting it do all of those things to me emotionally?

More tears. So the reasons I ever became obsessed with weight loss in the first place are now the reasons I’m giving it up. I deserve more from myself than to only care about how I look. I have great bloodwork, I move my body and am capable of using it to accomplish both things like yardwork and also hiking 28 miles through the Fort Indiantown Gap, PA mountains, I enjoy cooking and baking and EATING food…. My life is about so much more than what size my jeans are, what society says about whether or not I ‘should’ wear a bikini (spoiler alert: I wear and ROCK a motherfucking bikini). “Diet culture” (a relatively new term) is about a lot more than just stopping dieting, though. Diet culture assigns a morality to thinness – it encourages the belief that if you are fat, you simply aren’t good enough. You aren’t a hard worker or you’d lose weight. You don’t “eat healthy” or you’d lose weight. You’re not exercising correctly/enough/at the gym/at home/with weights/without weights/with running/without running (this list could go on forever) or you’d lose weight. You don’t spend enough time or money doing x, or you’d lose weight. 

Diet culture makes EVERYTHING about your weight. It teaches us (all of us, men, women, and children) that unless you’re “thin” (because what does that even mean), you cannot be good enough. 

Did you know that as of February 25, 2019, the weight loss industry in the United States alone was worth $72 BILLION dollars. I had no idea.

Seventy. Two. Billion. Dollars. 

That’s a whole hell of a lot of money being made from “fat people” (again, because what does that even mean) being taught they aren’t good enough.

According to a study by Dove which interviewed over 10,000 women and girls, 

“nearly all women (85%) and girls (79%) [saying they] opt out of important life activities – such as trying out for a team or club, and engaging with family or loved ones – when they don’t feel good about the way they look”

Dove Self Esteem Project, 2016

I want to say “WTF!”, but…

I know I’ve done this – straight up not gone to/done something because I don’t feel good about how I look. Or changed my clothes 15 times trying to feel better about how I look before I go to karaoke, go to dinner with friends, go to mow the fucking grass, even. 

We aren’t born with that behavior or these ideas – it is learned. 

And here we have reached my personal goal – to unlearn it. To change the statistics, to improve my well-being, to wake up each day and choose to love myself, be good to myself, and forgive myself for doing quite the opposite for most of my life. 

Some things I’m doing to help myself through this journey:

  1. Being open and honest about it with myself and others, to the best of my ability. I have SO MUCH to unlearn and with that means that I have to keep learning and adjusting my idea of what is “right” and what was just convincingly taught to me by advertisers (I’m an advertiser, so this is both a slight and just reality, LOL)
  2. Eating FOOD. Whatever food I want to eat, whenever I want to eat it.
  3. Forgiving myself for my past. For giving up my love of cooking and baking because it wasn’t “healthy” or “good for me”. For skipping events, for turning down opportunities, for forcing myself to work out, to eat a certain way… for so, so many things.
  4. Taking in information. I’m currently reading The F*ck It Diet by Caroline Dooner which is filled with information, studies, ideas… some things are enlightening, some things are “meh”, and some thing I think are a stretch (at least for me). But I’m being open to understand that I’ve been fooled, and trying to learn as much as I can so I can help stop the bullshit moving forward.
  5. Telling you (see #1). Because like anything in life, we don’t need to go through our hard lessons alone.

This blog doesn’t have a good “ending point” because I’ve only just begun, so expect to see/hear more about this subject. I made a few posts about ditching diet culture on Instagram, too, so feel free to follow along if you aren’t already.

Kicking Off Intentional Living

Good morning, friends!

I haven’t been awake that long; we managed to stay up well past the Duncannon Sled Drop and watch a few more episodes of Stargate: SG-1 (I’m obsessed, to say the least) before I tucked myself into Tyler’s shoulder and said “I’m going to fall asleep now” (it was 2 A.M.!).

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This is the first year in at least my adult life (and definitely my late teenage years) that I’m not setting a weight-loss goal. I did write down some other goals, but none of them are S.M.A.R.T. goals (something I would never have done in the past, either… unmeasureable goals?! WAT) and I feel SO good about it. I might not even have written down goals for 2020, but I decided that in general I want to write more (for myself, being a content writer for a living means I write plenty) so I picked up the 52 Lists Project that my mom got my Christmas last year:

The 52 Lists Projects is a year of weekly journaling inspiration by Moorea Seal.

The first journal prompt? You guessed it: your goals for the year. You can actually start this journal at any time of year, as it’s broken down into seasons. I’m definitely a fan of starting in the New Year, but feel a little silly knowing I waited for no reason (*shrug*). I’ve decided that I’m not going to look ahead at the prompts; I’ll wait and see what each week brings with my Sunday-morning coffee.

Another one of my goals is to cultivate a gratitude-based existence; I have SO much to be grateful for everyday, but it is SO easy to get overwhelmed by the negative and neglect the positive. I ordered the Good Days Start With Gratitude Journal from Pretty Simple Books and started using it this morning. It has daily spaces for writing what you’re grateful for, and each week is accompanied by inspirational quotes (plus there is beautiful word art, and if you’re like me, you’ll probably end up coloring in this journal, too):

The Good Days Start with Gratitude Journal is filled with spaces to use daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

Did you set any goals for 2020? What are they? I’d love to know and help encourage you! Leave a comment here or message me on IG to connect 🙂